


Distracting and a Great Bother

by slr2moons



Category: Naruto
Genre: Don't Have to Know Canon, Drama, F/M, POV Original Character, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-15
Updated: 2011-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-19 11:11:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slr2moons/pseuds/slr2moons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaara is fished out of the river by a woman who quickly realizes that might not have been the best idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. part one

**Author's Note:**

> **Author's Note:** This fanfic is set sometime between the Invasion of Konoha and Sasuke Retrieval story arcs.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** This story is a work of fanfiction and has nothing to do with the licensed version of this anime or manga in any way whatsoever.

_**Distracting and a Great Bother**_  
(part one)

I desperately sprinted down the last length of path that led to the river, broke out from the trees, and fell to kneel in the cool grass. The burning need to escape had driven me to the shaded quiet of the river a short distance behind my house. It was not any actual danger or threat that had forced me out, but my work. Too much of it, in fact. With freelance artists, it was either feast or famine. I was in a feast of commissions that had lasted for months and promised to last that much longer, but the sheer volume of paid work left me no time or energy for my own projects. The money was great, yet I felt aimless and empty. In the few spare moments I could find for myself, I would have the barest glimmer of inspiration for a new scroll or painting...but the image would shimmer and vanish before I could grasp it. Invariably I would be left alone to stare down at the accusing blankness of my drawing paper.

With a sigh, I rubbed my hands over my face and forced myself to calm down. I took a deep breath of the cool evening air. The sun was low on the horizon behind me and cast long shadows of myself and the trees across the grass and onto the river. The water sparkled in between the black fingers, dancing and whirling in the light. An insect skimmed the surface, the ripples of its passing disturbing the symphony for a moment before being caught within. _Oh...apparently I can still appreciate such simple beauty. Perhaps work hasn't sucked all the artistic passion from me after all._ I almost laughed with relief.

A fish suddenly leaped from the water to snap up the insect, diving back in with a splash. I yelped in surprise and clapped my hands over my mouth. The spray had glinted in mid-air like jewels before the green curtain of the river and distant shore. It would make a magnificent scroll, if I could only lock the image inside! I fervently began to memorize the moment when something rather odd distracted my attention.

A large round object was jutting out of the river's shallows, beached on a sandbar. It had definitely not been there when I had taken my last break earlier today. And trash in this section of the river was actually quite rare. No doubt it was some form of jetsam that had been washed up and was now waiting for the river to rise again to reclaim it. Then with a gasp of dismay, I remembered the leaping fish--but the image was lost.

 _Distracted by trash. Typical._ I looked with longing back to where the fish had hovered for that brief moment in the air, then turned away with a sigh. The vision of simple beauty had plopped back into the river's depths along with the fish. Grumbling at my lack of focus, I trudged towards the sandbar, my geta crunching on the gravel and dirt that formed the riverbank.

I reached the sandbar and stepped out on it. I studied the object as I neared and made a sour face. It really was rather large and thus likely heavy as well. _Wonderful. Distracting **and** a great bother. _ In fact it strongly resembled an enormous gourd. It had some sort of rope or belt wrapped around the narrow section, and attached to that was a hand and arm--I froze in mid-step and could only stare. With growing horror, my eyes moved down to see a small, muddy body lying facedown on the sand, the torso barely out of the water.

 _It's a kid!_ With a strangled cry, I threw myself forward to sprint the remaining distance and fell to my knees next to them. "Hey! Are you alive?" With relief I saw the child's face was not buried in the sand, but turned to the side towards the gigantic gourd. _They can breathe! There's still a chance!_ I grabbed the narrow shoulders and heaved, rolling them over onto their back. I could see no visible wounds. Judging from the waterlogged clothes and short red hair, it was a boy, and one who had barely begun his teenage growth spurt. Much too young to die! Trembling with shock, I touched his neck for a pulse and gave a joyous gasp when I found it steady, if slow, beneath by fingers. Even with the river mud and detritus upon him, he had a strange beauty. I patted his cheeks with both hands and leaned close over him.

"Hey! Are you conscious? Hello!"

No response.

I brushed the sandy mud off his face with my hands, hoping the stimulation would help him awaken. "You're quite a mess--particularly around the eyes--but at least you're alive." I frowned when I realized the black smudges of his eyes would not come off like the rest of the mud. A closer look revealed they were darkly bruised, though not swollen. Perhaps it had happened in the process of him ending up in the river and then on my bank. I moved to brush off his forehead and paused in surprise. A dark red kanji hovered above his left eye...the word for "love". _Unusual choice for a boy!_ I placed my palm flat on his chest and gave him a gentle shake. "And you're much too young to have a tattoo!"

His eyes snapped open and instantly locked on my face. I froze.

He did not move, smile, or even blink. He only stared.

Facing that flat, emotionless gaze, I felt my easy grin fade away. Beneath my splayed right hand, I could feel his chest barely rise and fall as he breathed in an even rhythm. _This is wrong. This isn't how a kid who almost drowned reacts upon awakening to rediscover life._ My heart began to pound.

His blank eyes were pale blue. And as they held me frozen where I knelt on the sand, they somehow became... _menacing._

The sounds and scents of the river vanished from my awareness as everything was lost to that malevolent glare. I had been so worried for his life that the telltale cut and make of his clothes had barely registered in my frantic mind. But even if I had been oblivious to them, the coldly unwavering eyes told me enough.

 _He is a shinobi. He can kill me._

I slowly sat back, lifting my hand away from his chest, our mutual stare never breaking. This was more than wrong. It was bad, bad, very bad! It felt as if I was facing down a vicious beast. My breath came faster and faster as adrenaline shot through my system. _Show fear to a predator and they will strike you down._ I took a breath. To run would invite a pursuit, and what chance would a normal woman have against a shinobi? I swallowed, forced myself to blink, and made my choice.

"Glad to see you're still alive!" I gave him a quick, polite bow from where I knelt beside him. "I am Minami. Artist, single, blood type B, but my age will have to remain a secret." I sat back to give him a warm smile while brutally ignoring the terror within. "And who might you be?"

He did not move, not even so much as to blink or raise his head from the sand. Only those pernicious eyes glittered in the evening light.

I waited a moment. _I'm already in the thick of it. Why stop here?_ "All right, then," and with a small laugh, "I dub you 'Ai-kun' for that tattoo on your forehead." _Did his eye just twitch, or did I imagine it?_

I stood up, refusing to be affected by the slight tremor in my limbs. "You really are a mess, Ai-kun. You and your clothes both need a good washing. My house is quite nearby--" I nearly choked. Caught up in my own act, my overactive artistic nature had neatly ruined the chance for escape. _But he seems as if he really does need help...and a moment ago you were in fear for your life!_ I berated myself inwardly _. In fact, you still are! What are you **doing?** _ Voice light, I quipped down to him, "I didn't see any obvious injuries on you, but if you need to, you can recuperate at my house." I mentally screamed.

I took a step back to give him room and saw that he turned his head to follow me.

I blinked again. _So he **can** move. Is that good or bad?_ Either way, my heart refused to stop pounding. I brushed the sand off my legs to give myself a moment to calm down. It didn't succeed. "Can you get up?" I asked. "I hope so, as I don't think I'm strong enough to carry you far at all." _I think he twitched again._

My implication worked; he finally moved. Slowly, he sat upright. I smiled, stepped close again, and bent to hold out my hand. His eyes flicked down for a brief moment, then back up to my face. I continued to smile, refusing to cave in to the terror and run. _A test for the both of us, Ai-kun._

His gaze never leaving me, he reached back with his left hand to grip the belt around the giant gourd and pulled it across the sand towards him. Then finally, cautiously, he grasped my hand. His touch felt slightly cool on my own flushed skin. His hand was still smaller than mine, but the grip was strong. Very strong! My heart lurched at his voluntary contact and I hid my gasp by stepping back and pulling him to his feet. The gourd apparently _was_ heavy, his grip on it jerked us off-balance. We staggered into the water, and I threw my left arm around him to steady us both.

His head barely reached my shoulders. Through his drenched clothes I could feel the hard tension in his body. His frame was slight, but I could not mistake the muscle under my arm or pressed against my side. And it was as I stood there, waiting, with the water dripping from him back into the river and my breath caught in my throat, that I realized the truth. _You're terrified of him, and you **like** it!_

The blood drained from my face as my mind went berserk. _That's why you keep baiting him! Giving him a foolish girly nickname, inviting him to touch you, standing here pressed against him! It's no wonder you subconsciously invited him home! You sick little deviant, you're waiting for him to attack you! You **want** him to do it!_

I leaped away from him as if I'd been burned, my feet slipping inside my wet geta and sending me sprawling onto the sand. I scrambled upright and out of arm's reach. Trembling, I held the back of my wrist against my mouth and stared.

He stared back, unmoving. But his eyes seemed slightly different. They were no longer menacing. Now...they seemed _angry._

My heart lurched again, but this time I knew it wasn't only because of terror. "I-I'm sorry, Ai-kun," I stammered out. "It's not you, it's me." I swallowed. "It's _definitely_ me."

 _(completed 1-1-07, last tweaked 3-28-07)_


	2. part one

_**Distracting and a Great Bother**_  
(part two)

The apology did nothing. In fact, it seemed to make things worse. I felt my hands begin to tremble as we faced each other down once more. The evening breeze brushed across us, chilling my flushed and damp skin. I was too terrified to blink.  _Pretending to not be afraid won't save me this time._

"Please, Ai-kun. Let me help you."

He set the gourd down in the shallow water in front of him, only his arm and shoulder moving.

"My offer still holds..." My voice dwindled to barely more than a whisper. Standing there without fleeing, facing that glare like burning ice, was one of the most difficult things I had ever forced myself to endure. I almost forgot to breathe. With slowly dawning clarity, I knew.  _The beast is testing **me.**  _I had crossed some sort of line, and now Ai-kun was waiting.

My taut body gave a small tremble with each desperate heartbeat while my mind searched frantically for an answer.  _I'll...I'll prove my sincerity._ I took a single step back, turned slightly, and gestured with my arm to indicate the way. "My house is a short distance beyond those trees. Can you walk that far?" It was a miracle that my voice didn't crack.

Only his eyes moved, flicking from me, to the trees, and returning to me again.

As a small sign of trust, I forced myself to break our stare, but I couldn't bear to do more than let my gaze leave his face to drift down his torso.  _I can't make myself vulnerable by turning away, not when he's so enraged. I might get a thrill from baiting him, but even **I** know when it's too much! _I compromised by focusing on his hands where they rested upon the gourd.

When he realized my line of sight, his grip tightened. His pale skin seemed to glow within the sunset's increasingly bloody light. I slowly lifted my gaze to meet his eyes once more. My breath caught in my throat as I realized what I was seeing in his tense form. I could not tell the cause--be it exhaustion, stress, or fury. In fact I could barely see it, but it was there...the faintest, almost invisible sign of vulnerability.  _He's trembling._

His eyes narrowed, and the sight made my blood run cold.

 _He knows I've seen it--a sign of weakness._

In one quick motion, he lifted his hands from the gourd and touched them together to form a strange shape. In the instant that his lips parted, I knew I was about to fail. I had apologized for my terrified leap away and then confirmed my good intentions...but if he could not accept either, then he truly was still a child.  _Fine._

He took a breath.

"Hurry up, Ai-kun! I can't wait all night!"

He actually jolted.

I smartly turned to walk a few steps towards shore, then paused to look back over my shoulder. His face seemed strangely blank. "Come on, I don't bite. I promise."

His hands fell apart and settled on top of his gourd. He seemed a bit taken aback--I chose to accept it as an encouraging sign. Surprise was much better than anger!

I waved one hand at the gourd. "You're obviously weak, so I don't think you can make it to my house while carrying that heavy thing."  _Oh, he definitely twitched at that!_ "You can leave it on the riverbank, it will be perfectly safe up out of the water."

The hint of surprise vanished from his face to be replaced with blatant petulance.

I raised one eyebrow. "All right, then. I'll carry it for you." Without waiting for his response, I marched straight to him, my feet splashing in the water. I stopped close enough to touch him and held out both of my hands. This close, I could feel his body heat piercing through the evening air. For one breathless moment under the insulted flame of that glare, I expected him to finally strike. But at last, very reluctantly, he lifted the gourd from the water.

I grasped the gourd's belt, feeling a guilty thrill as my fingertips brushed his hands. I quashed it flat.  _I am not baiting him again; I am only helping a child in need!_  Ai-kun's white rage had faded into something less intimidating, but I could not let myself be distracted from the precariousness of my situation-however horribly erotic I might find the warm touch of his skin against mine. _Yes, you're only helping. Of course that's all! Anyone would have noticed his smooth skin and body heat._  And apparently terror intensified my inner sarcasm.

His eyes sharpened.

I willed away the blush I could feel burning across my face.  _If he sees it, he'll likely think it's from the sunset. Yes, the sunset! The obvious reason for any aroused woman's face to be red!_ I mentally cursed. I knew I was losing my nerve. Gathering the remnants, I stared back in what I hoped was a perfect imitation of my mother's best no-nonsense glare. "Do you want my help or not?"

Finally, hesitantly, his hands fell away and left all the gourd's weight to me. I gasped and staggered around, quickly shifting my grip to clutch the thing in a bear hug to my chest. The lower half was still wet from the river and quickly soaked my clothes. I caught my balance once I regained the sandbar, grateful that I had not slipped in my wet geta a second time.

I glanced at Ai-kun over my shoulder. "And you carry this monstrosity one-handed?"  _Was that a **smirk?**  _But that did help explain all the muscle I remembered feeling when-- _stop it!_  "Let's go, shall we?" This time, my voice did crack.

I carefully began to walk up the sandbar, keeping my death-grip on the gourd. It was heavy, but now that I had it firmly in my grasp, I could manage. I heard him step out of the water behind me. My geta cheerfully crunched on the sand while I inwardly forbid myself to turn around and watch the water droplets trickle down his skin.  _At least I'm carrying this gourd instead of him. Definitely the safer option. Who knows what might happen if he were the one clamped to my breast?_ I licked my lips and kept my pace slow, listening for his footsteps in the sand behind me. Even drenched, his zori sandals would make some sort of noise.

I paused when I realized I could not hear him. The carefree singing of toads and night insects surrounded me where I stood on the sandbar. I couldn't hear the smallest sign of his presence.  _Wait--he's a shinobi. Silent killers, remember?_  "Ai-kun?" I turned to check on him and froze.

He was standing close enough for me to count his eyelashes; the air sparkling around him. With a gust of wind the glitter suddenly shifted to encompass us both.

I watched Ai-kun with disbelief. His frame was completely still, only his damp clothes moved in the swirl. The shimmering ribbons of air danced, swooping and curling around us. Ai-kun's eyes bored into mine. I felt my own widen when the wind brushed against my face.

 _This glitter...it's sand! Sand moving in the air!_ And no naturally occurring whirlwind or breeze could make sand behave in such a manner. Which meant the myriad of particles and countless bits of rock were all being directed...by Ai-kun.

A single filament gently brushed my cheek in a caress as it flitted past. That soft touch was deliberate, evidence of his complete control of the swirling miasma in which I stood.

I felt a curl of lust amidst the renewed terror in my heart. I hugged his gourd even tighter against me. "Ai-kun, you should save your energy for the walk."

He turned his head very slightly, eyes still locked on mine.

The weight in my arms brought on a sudden epiphany. "Is that what's inside this heavy gourd? Sand?"

The swirl suddenly expanded away from us with a muted  _whoosh_ , then languidly moved in once more to twine and tease my moist skin.

"So you can use sand...even as a weapon." I processed that for a moment, thinking carefully. Somehow, he could manipulate sand without any visible effort, bend it to his will, and even have it defy gravity. I had his personal sand reservoir hugged to my breast, and this had all started when I found him lying on a sandbar. Which meant... _he could have killed me whenever he chose._

The curl of lust inside me roared into a full-fledged beast of my own. The strength of it made me gasp.

His stance shifted--he had noticed my reaction.

A single bead of sweat trickled down my spine. I tried to shove the creature of desire that raged within me back into a safe corner of my mind, but it refused to obey. I swallowed and realized that a few grains of sand were stuck to my lips. I pressed them together and felt the harsh scrape of the sand between. The beast within me shivered and almost purred.

And before me Ai-kun stood, motionless while he held us both within his visual symphony of deadly power.

I willed my lips apart. "Point noted, Ai-kun."

The swirl around us dropped to the ground with a seductive hiss.

' _Distracting and a great bother' doesn't begin to describe him._

I turned and resumed walking, my feet finding their own way back to the shore and along the path through the trees while my conscious mind wobbled about and tried to regain control.  _The only saving grace about your newfound lust is that you're attracted--however twisted it may be--to his lethal nature, and not to his being a child. You'd be in a real mess if he were ten years older._  I almost tripped at the idea. My artistic nature immediately pounced, sculpting a taller, firmer, and incredibly luscious Ai-kun.

I felt my skin flush bright red.  _Think of something else, Minami--anything else! Distraction can be good!_  "Um...I really am an artist, you know. I paint wall scrolls and folding screens and the odd mural. You can find my work in several shops in the surrounding villages. When I can paint for myself, I like portraying animals in motion, particularly predators. Showing their power and action while not confusing the viewer is rather difficult to manage." I knew I was babbling, but I didn't dare stop. I took a desperate breath and continued, "But anyway, I even have a few regular customers! Of my most loyal is a scruffy older man badly in need of a haircut. I'm not sure I want to know what he does with them, but he has a fondness for my female nudes--"

I made a strangled noise and tried to cover it by coughing. "But he  _is_  helping pay off my house, so..." I gave a weak laugh and mentally throttled myself. "Speaking of my house, here we are."

I glanced over my shoulder to smile at Ai-kun. He wasn't there. "Ai-kun?" I peered back down the path and looked for him in the surrounding trees to no avail. I knew he had been following me only a moment before; I had felt his presence burning into my back every second of our short walk.

"Ai-kun!" I turned to face my house and blinked. He was...standing...on the  _underside_  of my back porch's roof. Arms crossed, completely unmoving among my hanging potted plants, he watched me approach.

With the advent of evening my porch light had automatically turned on, and now it shone around him, casting him into a nigh impregnable silhouette. I paused, not stepping up onto the porch. Here, with me still on the ground and him somehow standing upside-down on the roof, we were eye-to-eye.

I searched the blackness of his form and could discern the barest hint of his stoic and beautiful features. I knew my own face was easily visible, lit by what remained of the fading sunset and the porch light that framed A-kun. We watched each other in silence.

 _You are certainly a disturbing person, Ai-kun. But apparently, I rather like it that way. Yes...this could be very...interesting._

I gave him a genuine smile. "Won't you come inside?"

  
_(completed 1-16-07, last tweaked 3-28-07)_   



	3. part three

_**Distracting and a Great Bother**_  
(part three)

He didn't reply, but then, I didn't expect him to.

Amused at both of us, I gave a small laugh and shifted the gourd so I could see to mount the steps to my porch. On the last one I paused and caught Ai-kun's gaze. This close to him, he was no longer silhouetted by my light. And like my house, the porch was rather small. Thus, he effectively blocked my way.

I waited for a moment. When his refusal to move became apparent, I raised one eyebrow and asked, "Would you get the door, then? It isn't locked. I was in a bit of a hurry when I left."

He only continued to stand there, motionless. The gentle night breeze toyed with my hair, invisible fingers that trailed along the strands and kissed goosebumps upon my skin.

Ai-kun's eyes narrowed.

I shivered at the sight, the amused smile vanishing from my face when a strange thought occurred to me. _It's almost as if...he's **debating** something. _ The heavy tension that sprang up between us made me forget the ache in my arms and shoulders from holding his gourd. Frozen in place by that measuring gaze, I could only stand there and silently count my own heartbeats, barely noticing that my toes were trying to curl against the hard surface of my geta.

 _Each time we stare each other down, it has a different tone. And this moment..._ I blinked as the wind carried a strand of hair across my face, tickling my eyelashes.

Ai-kun tilted his head the smallest fraction.

I blinked again. _This moment...I suspect...is the most significant of them all._

Before I had a chance to wonder at the import of that observation, Ai-kun suddenly moved. He dropped, twisted in the air, and soundlessly landed in front of me. The maneuver had been so fast and fluid that if I had blinked, I would have missed it.

I stared at him, speechless, the silent stretch of unease forgotten in the wake of his adroit feat. _I had no idea a person could move like that!_ The creature of lust inside me escaped from wherever it had been lurking to roar in the front of my mind. I prepared to viciously slap it down yet again when it unexpectedly quietened on its own.

I almost dropped the gourd. _Huh?_ Puzzled at the odd retreat, I took a breath and managed to say in an even voice, "The door, please, Ai-kun".

Without taking a step, he twisted to reach out with his right hand and grip the doorknob. The sound of the knob clicking as he turned it resounded painfully loud in the night. He leaned back into his hand, pushing the door open behind him, then took one step inside. His eyes did not waver from me once.

I couldn't say how I knew, but something about Ai-kun...the way he unabashedly stood in my doorway, how he watched me with renewed intensity, even the steady movement of his chest as he breathed...with whatever decision he had made while standing upside-down on my porch roof, something about him had _changed._ He no longer seemed the menacing--if slightly bedraggled--predator humoring an overly helpful bit of prey. Now, it seemed to be about Ai-kun...and _me._

This time, _I_ was the one who twitched. My lips parted, but I didn't have the slightest idea what to say or how to act. The moment of truth had arrived, and I found myself lost in uncertainty.

 _So what are you going to do, Minami? It seems he's noticed **you!** Can you simply ignore this little change in your situation, just as you've dealt with so much before this? Or has all that lust he's inspired in you tonight really vanished in the face of his apparent interest? He's the thrilling demon--unobtainable by his very menace--no longer!_

I mentally jerked. But he _was_ unobtainable. My frantic heartbeat slowed when I remembered one cold, hard, and ultimately undeniable fact. Whatever I felt towards him, and whatever Ai-kun might have realized about me, he was a child. Untouchable in anything beyond simple assistance. To do more was out of the question.

And I could not stand on my porch forever. With my uncertainty resolved and the realization fixed in the forefront of my mind, I found I could relax and smile at him again. "Thank you."

I carefully bent and placed the gourd on my porch, leaning it against the side of my house next to the open door. "Your gourd is rather muddy, Ai-kun. I think it best to leave it outside for the moment, at least until it's cleaned. No one will bother it here." I straightened and half-heartedly attempted to brush the mud and sand from myself. "I seem to need a bath now, too."

With a rueful chuckle, I began to step past him. I had to turn sideways to avoid us touching. I chose to face him as I moved by, refusing to avoid the issue by showing my back instead. The bare skin of my arms prickled, his body heat sending me into shivers once more. I stole a glance down at his intense face and almost whimpered in longing.

 _Yes...it's decided...but I don't have to like it._

Once I passed him, I allowed myself a wry, private smile. I crouched to retrieve an extra pair of house slippers from the small rack beside by door, then looked over my shoulder and lifted them for him to see. "These black slippers are for my guests, Ai-kun. They will probably be a bit large for you, but no matter."

His seemingly endless stare sent me into more delighted, nervous shivers. Feeling ashamed in my apparent lack of resolve, I ripped my eyes away and set his slippers on the raised floor where he could easily step into them. I brushed the dried mud and sand from soles of my feet after removing my geta. With a start, I suddenly realized that my bent posture left by backside completely visible--and within reach--of Ai-kun. Mortified, I leaped upright and shoved my feet into my own slippers. My face felt like it was on fire. _Baiting him **again!**_

Resolved or not, I couldn't let him see my blush. I moved quickly down the short hallway while I frantically babbled over my shoulder. "You need to clean up first, Ai-kun. I feel rather dirty myself--" I choked and hid it with another bout of coughing. "H-Here's the bathroom." I paused to open the door, flicked on the light, and gestured inside. "Leave your clothes outside the door and I'll wash them for you. I'll bring you something to wear until they're clean."

He paused next to me and silently took in my bathroom. I glanced at him with an encouraging smile. My heart lurched. For the first time, I could clearly see him within the white glow of the light from my bathroom. Even underneath the drying layer of silt and grime, he truly _was_ pale, amazingly so. Leaves and bits of grass were stuck in his red hair, which was flattened around his head by the weight of river water. His clothes could only be described as a horrid mess. In the unforgiving light, he looked like a lost and waterlogged kitten. Sudden guilt for my twisted attraction to the boy descended upon my heart and made me wilt in shame.

"Ai-kun..."

He jerked and whirled to face me, his eyes burning inside their dark circles.

I gasped as he seared me with another cold glare of fury. His livid stare forced my mind back to our face-off on the sandbar and Ai-kun's silent message of warning with the floating sand. How could I have forgotten--the _sand!_ The memory of his ominously beautiful threat would likely haunt me to my dying day. And it definitely rekindled my desire with a roar-shameful or not.

I took a shaky breath against it and raised my hands in a gesture of supplication. "I didn't mean anything by that, Ai-kun. It's a...shock...to see you in the bright light, is all."

He pressed his lips together.

"Washing off that river mud will make a huge difference." I smiled at him again and forced myself to relax. _If he hasn't attacked from anger yet, he won't now. Not over something as trivial as that. I hope._

I broke our stare to move inside the bathroom and opened a cabinet for a clean towel and washcloth. "You'll find everything in the wash area there, it's all next to the stool and pail." I set the towel and cloth down on the counter and turned to give him a rueful grin. "When it comes to shampoo and soap, I'm afraid you'll have to decide between smelling like coconuts, green tea, or sakura blossoms." I winced apologetically. "Sorry."

His eyes slid from me to the bottles lined up against the wash area wall. He gave a curt nod.

With an inward sigh of relief, I pulled a used towel from the hamper, folded it, and placed it on the counter as well. "Wrap your clothes in this and set the bundle outside the door for me. I'll go find something for you to wear and leave it in the same place. All right?"

He nodded again.

I smiled and left the bathroom, making a point to not flinch away when my arm brushed his shoulder as I passed. I flicked on more lights and had almost reached my bedroom when a tug on my shirt stopped me. Startled, I turned to see Ai-kun had silently appeared behind me once more, the bottom of my shirt held in one of his pale hands. I blinked in surprise.

His lips were parted and his face frozen as if he had been about to say something. But his eyes were not on me, they were fixed on a point over my shoulder. He seemed almost shocked.

Astonished, I looked to see what it was that held him so captivated. The lights that ran along my hallway wall were carefully positioned to illuminate my artwork, with which I had generously decorated my home. In the place of honor over my work desk hung my own most beloved painting, one that I had labored over endlessly until I had finally been satisfied. It was my favorite subject to draw and paint, and the very one that had inspired my fascination with predators.

"Are you familiar with the story of the Konoha Kyuubi, Ai-kun?"

His grip on my shirt tail loosened, and his hand dropped back to his side. Very slowly, he nodded.

"Remember I said I enjoy drawing predators? The Kyuubi is why. I was about your age, maybe a little younger, when it attacked Konohagakure. I was actually in the village with my family at the time, visiting relatives. I honestly don't remember too much because my memories are eclipsed by the one moment when I actually saw the Kyuubi in the distance. The sheer terror it inspired in me..." I trembled at the memory and hugged myself. "I'll never forget that horrible awe. I obsessed over it. My friends found it very creepy, so I learned to express the fascination with art instead of words.

"The Konoha Kyuubi..." my voice trailed off and I suddenly jerked with a sharp frisson. I laughed at myself. "It's been a while since it's had such a profound effect on me!"

I looked away from my painting to smile at Ai-kun again, but the expression died on my lips.

"Ai-kun?"

His body trembled with fury; his face a horrid mockery of the anger I had seen before now. I gasped with shock and staggered back, caught completely unaware by the power of his emotion. He jerked from the painting to face me, and those cold eyes pinned me, shivering, to the wall.

"What? What is it, Ai-kun?"

My back door blew open with a deafening _bang._ I screamed when I saw the sand streaking towards me through the air. It roared in a whirlwind through my room, ripping at my hair and clothing. I hit the floor and covered my head with my arms.

"Ai-kun! I don't understand! It's only a painting, Ai-kun! _What did I do? How did I offend you?"_

The sand's fury intensified. I screamed again. Light bulbs broke with battery of sharp _pows_. My ceiling fan ripped free and crashed into my desk. Books and loose objects carried by the maelstrom smashed against the walls, the floor, the ceiling, and into me.

" _AI-KUUUN!"_

The storm slowed. I could hear the sand still flowing, its ominous hiss magnified by the enclosed space of the room.

Tears mixed with sand as they ran down my face. I desperately gasped for air through my sobs; sand gritting in my eyes and mouth. I peeked out from under my arms and saw his feet so close to me that they were touched by a few strands of my hair. My graze traveled up his form. Hands clenched into fists, veins in his arms sharply defined, his entire body trembled. But it was his face that terrified me most--completely blank, as if every bit of emotion and feeling had drained from him in the horrible eruption of anger.

I blinked and wiped my eyes with one hand. "Ai-kun..." My voice tremored.

Sand converged upon us and languidly spun in a shifting orbit, as if waiting for its sated appetite to renew.

I couldn't stop the tears. They welled from my eyes in hot drops, trickling down my cheeks to create small, clean circles on the sand-covered floor.

Ai-kun had not moved or even blinked. He only stared down at me with that terrifyingly empty expression.

Somehow, I had to break through that horrid blank wall and reach him. I lifted one shaking hand and touched the top of his foot above the slipper. His body heat warmed my cold fingertips. When he did not react, I slid my hand forward over his skin and cautiously wrapped my fingers around his ankle.

I tried to hold his gaze with my own. "Don't do this, Ai-kun. Please."

His eyes flickered.

The faintest glimmer of hope awakened inside me. I gently squeezed my hand. Very slowly, I sat up to kneel on the gritty floor, never removing my hand from his ankle.

"Please."

As always, he followed my movement with his eyes, lifting his gaze along with me as I raised myself. His fists loosened. The swirling sand finally lost its momentum and settled in a miniature desert over my floor.

Ai-kun's entire body began to shiver, intensifying to shake in earnest. His face seemed to crack apart and revealed a bewildered and frightened boy beneath the emotionless veneer. His knees suddenly buckled. I gasped and caught him with both arms as he fell towards me. I struggled with his weight, pushing him back so he could kneel before me in the sand, where I held him upright with the support of my hands on his shoulders.

He stared down, not meeting my gaze. His breaths were shallow and weak, as if it took an effort to even breathe. His hands lay limply in the sand on the floor. Through my grip I could feel his heart pounding as furiously as my own. We knelt together while I waited for the trembling to end and my own breathing to quieten. When I felt him straighten at last, I reluctantly lifted my hands from his shoulders. I sat back, my hands now losely clasped together on my lap, and watched him in silence.

Ai-kun turned his head to slowly observe the room, and I did the same. The fan had destroyed my desk. Ripped papers, glass, and art supplies were scattered everywhere, along with my vast library of books. My one plush armchair was knocked over and bore a horrid gash along the front, from which stuffing had already begun to escape. The kyuubi painting had been ripped from the wall, its frame scattered in splinters around the room, the meticulously painted canvas in shreds. And sand...sand covered _everything._

Ai-kun's gaze returned to me, his complete exhaustion making that small bit of personal acknowledgment seem remarkable. His eyes searched my face, taking in my red eyes, the tear-streaks, scrapes, and the promise of a bruise I could feel on my left cheek.

His lips parted, and for the first time, Ai-kun spoke. His voice seemed incredibly soft, completely at odds with his terrifying power.

"I'm sorry, Minami-san."

I blinked and glanced down at the floor. I wiped the sand and tears from my cheek with the back of one hand, studied it for a moment, then reached out to brush the sand from his face as well. He did not flinch or try to avoid my touch, even when my fingers traced over his bruised eyes.

I dropped the hand back in my lap and met his gaze.

"I'm sorry too, Ai-kun."

 _(completed 3-28-07, last tweaked 3-28-07)_


	4. part four

**Distracting and a Great Bother**  
(part four)

We sat in silence for several moments, feeling each other breathe. I slowly became aware of the warmth of one of Ai-kun's knees pressed between my thighs, a result of me catching and lowering him to kneel in front of me. With detached amusement, I realized the contact didn't bother or excite me in the least. After what I had just experienced, an innocent touch like that seemed completely trivial.

I gave Ai-kun a tired smile, scooted backward in the sand, and stood slowly. My body was stiff, and I straightened with great care. I brushed the sand from my backside and legs, then glanced over to see him watching me, as always.

I held out my hand. "You still need that bath, Ai-kun."

After only the slightest pause, he willingly grasped my hand, and I helped him to his feet. Calling the sand storm must have sucked out whatever energy he had left, because he staggered and almost collapsed again. I threw my left arm around him, just as I had on the riverbank. But this time I did not leap away in shock at the feel of him pressed against my side. Like when I realized his knee was touching my thighs, it was simple contact between us now, nothing more.

Ai-kun took several deep breaths, then wrapped his right arm around my waist. We wordlessly stepped out of my den, the sand crunching and slippery on the wooden floor underneath our slippers. Ahead of us, the bathroom door was still open, the light shining within a bright beacon showing the way.

I knew my strange detachment and sudden immunity to Ai-kun's touch was actually shock at my near brush with death. The horrible power within the boy leaning on me was something I could grasp on only the most superficial level.

 _Ai-kun had already been exhausted when I pulled him from the river, yet he had still managed to destroy an entire room of my house._ I considered that, and felt Ai-kun's hand on my waist tighten when he stepped over a pile of books that had been cast upon the floor. Our movement had pulled my shirt out from under his arm, and his fingers tightly gripped my bare stomach for support. I pulled him closer against me in reply, even while my mind came to the logical conclusion. _If Ai-kun had not been already weakened, that storm would have likely killed me._ I waited for the creature of lust inside me to roar with glee in response, but again...nothing.

I glanced down at Ai-kun. His eyes were fixed on the bathroom, and they did not waver from our destination to look up at me.

Ai-kun had been able to control the sand enough so that it did not extend far beyond my den, which left the hallway mostly clean. Once we reached the bathroom, we had to turn slightly sideways to fit through the doorway. I went first, carefully pulling him in along with me. Once inside, I lifted my arm from his shoulders and took a cautious step back. His own arm reluctantly left my waist, and he simply stood there, his eyes unfocused and staring at the floor.

I studied him for a moment. He still panted in shallow breaths. His disconcerting, blank stare made me worry if he could manage without assistance. "Ai-kun...will you be all right alone?"

He began to nod, but then stopped to softly voice, "Yes."

I watched him doubtfully as he braced one hand on the counter and leaned into it slightly.

"All right...but if you need something, just ask. I've seen nude men before, so..."

He glanced up at that, his expression unreadable.

I gave him a wry smile. "I am an artist." I pushed the used towel towards him along the counter. "For your clothes, remember."

Ai-kun ignored it, still staring at me with that inscrutable look.

I stared back, then jolted with realization. _He's waiting for me to leave, of course!_ I whirled around, my face flaming. _Just because you're fine seeing him nude doesn't mean he feels the same!_ I reached for the doorknob and bit back a self-mocking laugh. _It seems the creature of lust isn't hibernating. It's simply become...sneaky._

Pulling open the door, I could sense his presence burning into my back. Unable to resist, I paused and slowly turned to look over my shoulder. Our eyes met. I gave him a watery smile, stepped out, and pulled the door shut behind me. The latch's click resounded sharply in my ears.

My hand fell from the knob. I stood still for a moment and held my breath, listening for movement on the other side of the door. Finally, I heard it...the faint shuffing and clinking of someone undressing.

And then it came. My entire body began to violently shake. I clamped a hand over my mouth to stifle my sudden gasps for air as my pulse intensified to pound within me. I staggered forward to the opposite wall and leaned heavily against it while the waves of stress and anxiety crashed through me.

 _I have a monster in my bathroom. Someone so terrifying they render me speechless, yet so incredibly vulnerable at the same time. He really **is** like a lost, waterlogged kitten! Ready to strike at anyone who threatens or comes close, but at the same time so very desperate for warmth and affection!_

I took a shaking breath and turned to brace my back against the wall. For the second time that night, I wiped the tears from my face with my hands. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor, hugging my knees close to my chest while I shook with violent, silent sobs.

 _Am I crying for me? Or for Ai-kun? I've only known his horrible emotional nightmare for a few moments. What must it be like for him, who has to live it every day?_

The sharp click of the door opening made me start. I snapped my head up to see Ai-kun standing at the door, only part of his face and the thinnest sliver of his pale body visible through the crack between door and frame.

He did not say a word at the picture I knew I presented. Me, his benevolent and intrepid helper, now huddled in a weak and crying mess on the floor.

I flushed with shame and clambered to my feet, trying not to shake as I stepped forward and used my shirt collar to dry my eyes. "Please pardon me, Ai-kun. I have no excuse."

His gaze flicked over my face, and a hint of puzzlement crept upon his blank expression. I grew nervous under his scrutiny and had no idea what to do with my hands. Fumbling about, I rubbed one hand on my forearm and sent a small shower of sand sparkling to the floor. I blinked, glanced down to see the grains glinting in the light, then looked back up at Ai-kun again with a rueful smile, very grateful for the momentary distraction. "Oops. I missed brushing off some before."

His eyes widened. Then they darted down to the floor and snapped back up to my face. With amazement, I saw that he was beginning to tremble once more, with increasing intensity.

"Ai-kun! What--" I reached out and took a step forward.

He flinched away from my touch and almost vanished back behind the door. What I could see of his blank expression had been completely replaced by the face of the bewildered and frightened boy I had glimpsed in my den.

I gasped in surprise, my hand still stretched out toward him. "Ai-kun! I'm fine! It was only nerves! It's gone now."

He shifted uncertainly, still trembling, still watching me.

"I'm fine." I held out both my hands. "Here. Give me your clothes. That's why you opened the door, right?"

Very faintly, he nodded.

"Okay then, I'll take them now." I stretched out my hands, thankful they no longer shook. The last thing Ai-kun needed was to see more proof of the terror he had brought upon us both.

The sight of my restored calm and easy smile seemed to reassure him. His trembling slowed, and he shifted to the side and slowly held out his right hand, which held the tied towel full of his clothes. I took the bundle in both hands and hugged it against me. "Take that bath, Ai-kun. It will make you feel much better." _And give me a nice, lengthy breather._

He blinked, searched my face one last time, then slid back inside the room. I turned away, moving very slowly. It wasn't until I heard the door click shut again that I realized I had half-expected him to tug at my shirttail a second time.

 _Aching for warmth, yet terrified it might actually be given._ I mulled over that epiphany as I walked down the hall to my laundry room. _You accepted your attraction to his predatory nature, but you also accepted he's a still a child and therefore untouchable. You realize he's conflicted and full of torment, thus vulnerable. At least emotionally vulnerable, leaving him open to your...attentions. But he's a child, thus still untouchable...so you just want to comfort him. Right?_ _ **Right?**_

It took me a moment to remember why I was standing in front of my washing machine. I even still had his clothes inside the towel clamped to my bosom. I untied the towel, looked down upon his muddy clothing, and was slapped by the horrible urge to bury my face in them. I froze in shock, then shoved the entire bundle inside the washer, tossed in detergent, and slammed the lid closed.

 _Shame on you!_ I punched the proper buttons to start the machine, then whirled to face the sink. I yanked off my own shirt and short pants, and I violently twisted the sink faucet on. With a washcloth and bar of soap, I scrubbed myself clean of sand and dried mud as best I could. I tried to keep my mind focused on what I was doing, but a traitorous thought managed to escape as I worked.

 _His clothes would only smell like river water, anyway. But that's not how it will smell inside the bath..._

" _Aarrrgh!"_

I dropped the washcloth and staggered back. I held my head in my hands, trying to banish that horribly erotic, imagined scent from my mind. Standing there in my bra and panties, shaking with frustration and anger at myself, I came to my final realization.

 _If you don't end this as quickly as possible, one of two things will happen. Either Ai-kun will finally kill you, or you will explode and die anyway. And you can't die. You have deadlines._

That brought me back to my senses. Nothing like work to make me remember who I was and what I should be doing.

I took a deep breath and straightened up. With my cleared mind, I saw the quickest path to end my torment and help Ai-kun. "First, clean him up. Second, find him clothes. Third, feed him. Fourth, send him on his way. _Right."_ I turned on my heel and marched out of the laundry room, holding my goals inside my mind as if they were a precious lifeline to sanity. As I neared the bathroom, I slowed and listened for the sound of Ai-kun within, needing to make sure he was at least still conscious. Paused next to the door, I heard the sound of running water suddenly stopping, and the clank of the plastic bucket on the tiled floor. I let loose a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

"Minami-san?" His voice through the door seemed thin and very tired.

I started. _He heard that sigh?_ "Um...just checking on you, Ai-kun! Your clothes are in the wash. I'll go find you something to wear in the meantime." I glanced down at myself, clad only in my underwear, and silently added, _something for_ _ **both**_ _of us to wear._

I hovered for a moment more, telling myself it was out of concern for him and not the shameful hope that he would open the door.

He spoke again, saying only, "Okay."

My brow furrowed. _He still sounds completely exhausted._ Very reluctantly, I moved away from the door and down the hall, pointedly not looking at the mess of my den and workspace as I passed. I debated the sound of Ai-kun's voice inside my head. I'd thought the bath would help refresh him. He'd already been so tired on the riverbank that he couldn't even pull himself completely out of the water. Then he had demonstrated his strange power over sand, and that shinobi-style feat of vanishing from behind me to appear upside-down on my porch roof...not to mention the horrible storm. It was no wonder he seemed so weak.

 _Maybe I should go back to make sure--no! First, clean him up! Second, find him clothes! That's right!_

I glared with determination down at my chest of drawers and began to dig. Size wasn't a real problem, since he was smaller than me, but... _I never realized how girlie my clothing is!_ If a shirt wasn't pink or yellow, then it had flowers on it. If not flowers, then sparklies. Or in the case of a promising black shirt-- _a kitten._ Complete with a decorative ribbon sewn around its neck. I held up the shirt and tried to imagine Ai-kun inside it. The kitten seemed appropriate to me, but I didn't think Ai-kun would appreciate the symbolism. I tossed it onto the pile of rejects, and my search turned frantic until in the back of a drawer, I found a powder-blue shirt with a dragon I had painted on it in black ink. A dragon was good...and if he complained about the color, I'd tell him it matched his eyes.

Pants and underwear were a much bigger problem. Literally, since--thanks to my generous hips--Ai-kun would be swimming in all of my shorts. In a flash of inspiration, I dug out the sweatpants I used for sleepwear in winter. Soft, gray, and most importantly, drawstring waist. And the same for a pair of old shorts, which had been worn and washed down thin enough to moonlight as impromptu underwear. _Success!_ They would both be baggy on him, but at least with the drawstring waists they wouldn't fall down to the floor. Which of course wasn't what I wanted to happen at all.

For myself, I pulled on the first things I laid my hands on, which happened to be the kitten shirt and a second pair of faded shorts. I then scooped up the clothes for Ai-kun and headed out the door.

Again, I listened when I approached the bathroom. The shower was still running, which seemed odd. Altogether, Ai-kun had been inside for almost fifteen minutes. _Surely he should be done by now. Or soaking in the tub, which would mean the shower wouldn't be on._

"Ai-kun?"

Nothing.

I raised my voice. "Ai-kun, I found some clothes for you." I bent and placed them on the floor just outside the door. "They're right out here. Okay? Ai-kun?"

Still nothing. The sound of the shower did not change, and I could hear no other signs of his presence. At the memory of his weak voice earlier, a thread of fear curled around my heart.

" _Please_ say something, Ai-kun, so I know you're all right!" I waited, then knocked sharply on the door. "Ai-kun!"

The fear shifted towards anger. "Fine! I'm coming in, Ai-kun. Grab a towel if you don't want me to see anything!" I placed my hand on the doorknob, counted to three, and pushed the door open.

Steam wafted out into the hallway in a misty cloud. I gasped as it caressed me. _He chose the green tea shampoo_. And mixed in with that was something spicy, unfamiliar, and incredibly delicious. I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing myself to memorize his scent, even as I recited my mantra in my head. _Clean him up, find him clothes, feed him, and send him on his way._

I swallowed once, stepped inside the room, and saw Ai-kun. He sat on my wash stool, his head leaning against his right arm, which was braced in front of him on the tiled wall. His left hand hung limply at his side. I could see his ribs move under his skin with each shallow pant. Above him, the shower rained down upon his head and back, turning his hair dark brown, and covering his pale skin with glittering drops. But what I could see of his back, side, and legs were mottled with bruises, which could only be a testament to the events that had doomed him to my riverbank. I blinked at the sight of his injuries. I could distinctly see the imprint of a fist...a full-sized, _adult_ fist. _Who could possibly be powerful enough to do that to Ai-kun? When he has his sand...?_

I lost my train of thought when he slowly turned his head to meet my gaze. Either he didn't care if I saw everything, or he simply didn't have the strength to cover up. Somehow, seeing him barely conscious under the rain of water, I suspected the latter.

My mantra repeated inside my head again, this time with a touch of irony. ' _Clean him up, find him clothes, feed him, and send him on his way', indeed. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy._

I shut the door behind me and leaned back against it. I licked my lips, and took two tries to finally speak, "Ai-kun..." but the remaining words died in my throat. Again, we stared at each other in silence.

Very faintly, Ai-kun smiled.

 _(completed 9-19-07, last tweaked 9-19-07)_


	5. part five

_Distracting and a Great Bother_  
(part five)

The impact of that tiny smile blindsided me, as if it had snuck up behind me and caught me in an inescapable shinobi embrace. That slight expression--the curve of his lips, the barest crinkling of his eyes--held me mesmerized. Even though I had only been in his presence for a mere hour, I knew that a smile from Ai-kun was something amazing.

But I couldn't decide what it meant. _Is Ai-kun welcoming my help? Is he calling my bluff? Or is it something else completely?_ I realized my mind was too shaken to arrive at any conclusion, so I tucked that incredibly distracting question away in the back of my mind for later. Ai-kun needed my attention right now and debating hidden meanings would hardly accomplish that, let alone make any progress in sending him on his way...and beyond my reach.

My determination renewed, I carefully kept my sight fixed upon the innocuous shower knobs as I walked toward him through the foggy room. My skin prickled at the caress of the scented air, and I fought down a shiver. I stopped just out of reach of the shower's spray, next to where he sat on the wash stool, to crouch down and twist off the water.

Silence enveloped us. It filled the room and the scant amount of space between Ai-kun's damp body and myself. The drops that trickled from the showerhead hit the tile in a slowing, staccato beat that seemed to mock my increasingly pounding heart. Afraid to look at him, still staring at the faucet, I listened to Ai-kun's shallow pants. The soft sounds echoed inside my head, and I realized my own breathing had increased until we were in unison.

 _Look at him._

Sluggish and dizzy, I let my hand fall from the faucet knob into my lap.

 _You have to look at him._

I flattened my hands upon my thighs and turned my head to face him.

 _He never stops watching me._ This time, his eyes were half-closed, only the thinnest sliver of pale blue visible through the dark red lashes, but I knew he was observing my every movement. And if shinobi observation skills were anything close to what the rumors said, he was perfectly aware of my inner turmoil...though I desperately hoped he didn't know _why._

I kept my eyes locked on his face; I was simply too afraid to let my gaze wander over the rest of him. Being so close to him at this moment was torment enough, since my imagination did not need any help. Indeed, the prudent minority inside me insisted that if I didn't end this intimate moment quickly, something very bad would happen.

 _Clean him up first._

I forced my lips apart, but could not speak louder than a whisper. "Are you finished washing?"

He nodded. Even though it was slow, the movement made two drops of water that had been dangling on the tips of his flattened bangs drip free and land on his pale cheek. Captivated, I watched them trickle down his face and the urge to lean forward and lick them from his skin attacked me.

With an agonized gasp, I collapsed backward onto the wet tile and clapped my hands over my face. I could see those two drops perfectly in my mind. _What if I had done it? What if I did it now? What if--_

My frantic thoughts were abruptly cut short when Ai-kun gently touched my shoulder. I froze, as shocked as though he had slapped me. The water drops clinging to his fingers were quickly absorbed by my thin shirt, which only intensified the heat I could feel from him. I began to tremble again.

His fingers tightened.

 _He's worried about me. I'm not supposed to act like this._

I took a deep breath of the moist air to brace myself, let my hands drop, and sat up to face him once more. I barely kept from jolting backward in shock. He had moved while I had been caught up in my distress, leaning in so close that his face filled my vision, and I could feel his breath on lips. Every remaining coherent thought inside my head vanished.

His eyes searched my face, flicking across my brow, my cheeks, my mouth. My breath caught in my throat as I watched him study every detail, his expression thoughtful and curious. Finally, his eyes came to rest on my lips.

My face burned bright red. _He knows! He's figured it out. And now...now_ _ **he's**_ _baiting_ _ **me!**_

Slowly, giving him time to react, I placed my right hand on his shoulder.

His eyes flickered at my touch, and vehemently reciting every curse word I knew inside my head, I carefully pushed him away. Not trusting myself to speak, I slowly shook my head.

His face hardened. The sight stabbed deeply into my heart. I sat back from him and lifted my hand from his shoulder to place it back on my lap, before he could shake it off. I did not let myself look away from his anger. A muscle in his jaw trembled, and he sharply turned away.

I couldn't stay in here with him. The temptation was too great for me to renege on my decision. I looked over to my bathtub and saw that he had already filled it with water and turned on the heater.

"Do you still want to soak in the bath, Ai-kun?" I asked him, the words sounding hoarse.

He nodded curtly.

"Do you need help getting in?"

"No."

I flinched from the cold anger in his tone, shamefully glad that he could not see the pain I knew was clearly on my face. His voice had always been so soft when he spoke before.

"All right." I stood on the tile, careful to keep my balance, and backed a step away. "The clothes are still outside the door. I'll go find something for you to eat. Something light, so it won't hinder you when you leave." It hurt more than I had expected to say that last sentence, but I knew it had to be done. I turned on my heel and walked to the door, this time opening and passing through without hesitation. I pulled it firmly shut with a true and final click.

I'd had my chance and let it go. Without a doubt, I knew it would not be offered again.

I staggered forward to lean once more against the opposite hallway wall in a daze. The astonishment at our role reversal had been like a bucket of cold realization was dunked over me. Unconsciously or not, _I_ had brought this on. Ai-kun had only been reacting to the messages I'd been all but screaming at him since I found him on the riverbank. I had manage to convince myself that he was untouchable in any way beyond platonic, but apparently _he_ did not feel the same. The knowledge that I had been able to keep my internal vow was a small consolation against the pain that I had so clearly caused Ai-kun. He had taken an enormous emotional chance by expressing an interest in me...and I had shoved it right back in his face.

Angrily I swiped at the tears trying to fall from my eyes. _Damn it! Damn it all! Especially damn whoever pummeled Ai-kun into my river and landed us in this awkward situation in the first place!_

Tears burned in the back of my throat as I marched the short distance to my den and forced myself to truly see what he had done.

Forget the lost and waterlogged kitten. _This_ was Ai-kun: a slowly burning coal of emotion that could explode into an inferno at the slightest provocation. Unpredictable. Impressionable. And fickle, just like any boy his age. But unlike the others, Ai-kun had another layer: he was undeniably lethal. A death-wish from Ai-kun would be horribly real. The mess of my den, the vast amount of damage he had wreaked...this had happened merely when he had seen my painting of the Konoha Kyuubi. If a simple illustration could provoke this from him, what havoc could my continuous teasing create?

I had to stop it. Subconscious or deliberate, dangling myself in front of him was completely irresponsible and cruel. Not to mention life-threatening for _me._

With a troubled sigh, I hugged myself and turned away from my den. I walked back down the hallway, not pausing when I passed the closed door of the bathroom. I had to send Ai-kun on his way as quickly as I could. It was the only ending to this fiasco that I could possibly allow.

In the laundry room, I pulled our wet clothes from the washing machine and resignedly separated them, only shoving his inside the electric dryer. I'd never been so grateful to my house's previous owners for including their expensive appliances in my purchase. Thanks to the machine, his clothes would be dry in a portion of the time it would have taken on a line outside in the muggy night air.

I tried to keep my attention focused on what I was doing as I prepared food in the kitchen. I pulled several of my onigiri from the refrigerator and set a package of miso to heat on the stove. On small serving plates, I laid out slices of tofu, daikon, naruto, and a portion of the large fish I had roasted for myself the day before. Fresh rice and tea were started cooking. I also set a variety of fruit in a bowl on the table, in addition to plates and chopsticks for us both. Ai-kun could eat as much or as little as he wanted.

I placed two more onigiri, an energy bar, and a can of juice inside a small bento box and wrapped it inside a large handkerchief. I yanked the knot very tight. I wasn't sure if Ai-kun would welcome civilian food for travel purposes, but I would offer it anyway.

The food preparation finished, I paused and realized I had nothing left to do but stir the miso until it was finished. The bathroom door was still closed, and I could see the light was on through the crack at the bottom. Restless, I found one of my countless sketchpads and a pencil to keep myself busy. I doodled for a moment, then quickly sketched the vague form of a head and torso...heavily-rimmed eyes, short hair, the tattoo...the muscles in his taut body, his hardened face when I had turned him away.

I swallowed down my remorse and gazed down at the rough drawing. I owed him an explanation. I wasn't a little girl who had no idea of her affect on the opposite sex. But what could I possibly say to assuage him? " _Ai-kun...you were right, but I can't give in to something like that, not with a boy half my age."_ Like that would help things. Ai-kun seemed intelligent, I was certain he had already realized that for himself. Did the reason really matter? I had refused him. That was the end of it.

It seemed best to keep things short and to the point. An apology, nothing more. Ai-kun didn't invite conversation anyway. Morosely, I finished the sketch, signed and dated it for posterity, and flipped to the next page. I lost myself in my art, filling the white page with small studies of Ai-kun. His face and form came to me with frightening ease...making me feel guilty for having studied him so well. With a few hard lines, I developed a promising sketch farther, brining out the imminent threat and danger of Ai-kun that had lured me into this bothersome mess in the first place.

The back of my neck prickled. I suddenly jolted and snapped my head up to see Ai-kun watching me from the hallway. The small dragon shirt fit him rather well, though the shorts had been as baggy as I feared. His hair stood up in jagged red spikes and the faint scent of green tea reached me, even over the food.

I blushed and quickly stood, setting my closed sketchpad behind me on the counter. _I hope he doesn't know what I was drawing._ After my refusal of his advance, drawing him seemed intimate and inappropriate, though that hadn't occurred to me until _after_ I was almost caught.

With a tentative smile, I gestured at the opposite chair. I turned away to wash my hands and bring the rest of the food to the table. The only sound of his movement was the barest whisper of the borrowed clothes when he sat down. _Another silent reminder of what he is. It would do me good to remember it._

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was still watching me, his face stoic. I poured him a glass of hot tea and dished out rice and a portion of soup. Without speaking, he picked up the chopsticks and took a tiny bite of the rice. I waited a moment, silently watching his miniscule bites and controlled movements, before I sat down in my own chair and began to eat as well.

We ate without conversation.

I was nibbling on a naruto held in my chopsticks, mind purposefully blank, when I felt his eyes upon me. I looked up to see his guarded face staring at me once again. I paused, staring back, then quickly pulled the rest of the fish cake into my mouth, chewed, and swallowed.

He averted his gaze, the motion sharp.

The small circles of color I saw on his cheeks made me blinked in surprise. _He's blushing? But...why?_

My amazement was abruptly interrupted by the sound of a familiar, aged voice shouting through my back door.

" _Minami-chaaan!"_

We both jumped.

"Minami-chan, I know you have a gentleman caller in there! I saw you leading him from the river! And you without a chaperone!" An indignant thump echoed from off my porch. "Scandalous!"

I sat frozen for a moment, transfixed by the image of Ai-kun being a 'gentleman caller', until another loud thump and yell of my name shook me out of my reverie. I quickly set my chopsticks down on my plate and wiped my hands on my napkin. "It's just my neighbor, Uwasa-obaasan. She's such an old gossip...I'll go shoo her away."

I stood from the table and turned to give Ai-kun a reassuring smile--but he had vanished. Uwasa-obaasan's insistent calls continued as I walked to the door, searching what I could see of my house's interior for any sign of Ai-kun.

"Minami-chan! You open this door this minute!" I heard her bang her walking stick on something hollow. "And what is this ridiculously large gourd? Geh! It's filthy! What are you two doing in there?" She whacked the gourd again.

I sighed and decided to let Ai-kun stay hidden. _Shinobi likely need to be paranoid...keeps them alive._ In the back entryway, I stepped out of my house slippers, into my geta, and opened the door to ruefully greet my nosy neighbor where she stood in the porch light. "Good evening, Uwasa-obaasan."

She glared up at me, her wrinkled face further creased by her disapproval. "Minami-chan! No single girl should ever be alone with a non-relation man!" She reached out with one wizened hand and tugged me onto the porch. "It's so dangerous, your living alone!" What if he were to take advantage?"

I fought down an ironic laugh. _You have it backwards, actually...not that I'll ever admit it. Out loud, anyway._

"Obaasan, it isn't like that at all. He's just a boy I'm helping out."

Using her stick, she deftly hooked the doorknob and pulled my back door closed in one strong jerk. "Is that so?"

I stared at her in confusion. Obaasan's mouth had formed the words, but that had definitely _not_ been her voice.

She smiled darkly, her yellow teeth glinting in my porch light. The deep male voice spoke from her lips again. "Thanks for holding him up for me."

 _Eh?_

Uwasa-obaasan vanished in a poof of thick smoke. I gasped in shock, inadvertently breathing in the fumes. I coughed and staggered back against the shut door, my eyes tearing up. I waved my hand to dispel the haze and tried to find the doorknob. _A man impersonating Obaasan? Why?_

A hand shot out from the cloud and easily clamped around my upper arm with an iron grip.

I peered at the hand in confusion and rubbed my eyes against the clearing smoke. _That's not Ai-kun's hand...it's much too big._ My eyes left the hand holding me, trailed up a thick black sleeve, and came to rest upon a full-sized man wearing a dark coat decorated with garish red cloud designs.

He grinned down at me over the coat's high collar.

"So where's the brat, Minami-chan?"

  
_(completed 6-24-08, last tweaked 6-24-08)_   



	6. part six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twilaa-chan once again gave me a wonderful beta reading! Thank you so much!

  
_  
**Distracting and a Great Bother**   
_   
_(part six)_   


I blinked at the stranger, too shocked to do more than gape.

He stood illuminated in the stark porch light, towering half a meter above me and stretching twice as wide. His shoulder-length hair was brown, his body lean and--from what I could see of it--very fit. But most strikingly, his face was lit with a wide, arrogant grin that blazed out above the collar of his coat.

I stared at his face, focused on that triumphant leer, and began to realize the horrible depth of my situation.

 _This man is looking for Ai-kun!_

The memory of the boy's pale body as I had seen it from the bathroom doorway came to me in a sudden flash. _Those large fist-shaped bruises mottled over his torso…they were left by a full-grown man._

The blood drained from my face.

The man, the person who had to be Ai-kun's attacker, leaned down until his face hovered above my own. He watched me for a moment longer, as if enjoying my fright, then his grin widened.

"So where is he, girlie?" His playful voice cut into the still night loud enough to make me wince.

When I said nothing, his hand tightened on my arm. That horrible smile reached his eyes, and they sparkled with genuine enjoyment.

My body began to tremble from the flood of adrenalin. "He--he's gone!" I stammered out.

"Gone?" The grin melted into a contrived pout. "Oh...now that's just too bad."

He yanked me off my feet, spun me about, and slammed me into the door face-first. I barely managed to turn my head in time to protect my nose before I impacted with the wood. Pain flared along my cheekbone.

The man twisted my arm behind me and spoke again, this time whispering intimately into my ear, "Then where did he go?"

The feel of his breath on my skin made me shudder with revulsion. Fighting down panic, I yelled inside my head, _Stay calm! You have to stay calm and_ _ **think!**_

I took a deep breath, never more grateful to admit the truth, for both Ai-kun's sake…and my own. "He's--he's really gone! He vanished when you knocked on the door! I looked up from our dinner and he was gone from the table!"

I took several shaky breaths that tasted of wood and fear while I waited for him to react. When he remained still and silent, I cracked open the eye not being smashed into the door to see him staring at me, his supercilious expression replaced with one of utter astonishment.

He used his free hand to rub his face, as if trying to physically remove his disbelief. "Wait a minute. _He_ was at your _table?_ You were _eating dinner_ with him?" His grip loosened slightly; he took a step back as if for more perspective.

I desperately blundered on, this time with a bit of hope that the change in him might give me a chance. "Yes! We were just eating dinner, and he vanished when you knocked! He's gone! I don't know where he went!"

The man stared at me for a moment more, then threw back his head and laughed. A loud, uproarious, from-the-gut laugh. "Now that's something you don't hear every day! 'Just eating dinner'...with that _thing!_ " His laughter billowed out around us again, loud enough to make me flinch against the door as the guffaws assaulted my ears.

 _What's so funny about it? Why should eating dinner with Ai-kun be so strange? And what does he mean by 'that thing'?_ The knowledge that he must have been referring to Ai-kun insulted me for the boy's sake, and I attempted to break free.

"Let me go!" I tried to pry his fingers off my arm with my left hand.

He cut off his laughter to bodily whirl me around and slam my back against the door with great force. The power of the shove knocked the breath out of me and made my head bounce off the wood. He pinned me there with his other forearm across my throat.

I fought to not black out.

He thoroughly eyed me up and down and leered widely. "Oh, Minami-chan! You must be really something!" He finally released his grip on my arm to embellish the words with his free hand, the gestures wild and theatrical. Even to my groggy mind, they seemed more appropriate for a bad actor than a shinobi.

"The gentle princess taming the wild beast! Just like in the fairy tales! How sweet!" He yanked me forward with a single jerk and pressed me flush against his chest. With one hand he stroked my face and pressed me into him with the other in a mockery of a romantic embrace.

A fresh wave of fright quickly spiced my previous anger. I was both sickened and terrified at the rock-hard feeling of him, even through the coat, along my entire body. His arm around my waist held me immobile with disgusting ease, and he bent over me so our noses almost touched. I glared up at him and fisted my hands on his chest where they were trapped between us to try to push away, but the effort only made his laughter return.

The volume of the laughs made me flinch again, and I gasped when I realized what the excessive noise and his arrogant behavior implied: _He isn't hiding. He isn't being a proper shinobi. He isn't trying to be stealthy at all. That means…h_ _e_ _ **isn't afraid**_ _of Ai-kun!_ My mind balked in disbelief at the idea.

 _Is this guy_   
_  
**insane?**   
_

As if reading my thoughts, the man chuckled. "Let's have some fun, Minami-chan! You, me," he paused to wink, "and the brat. A happy little threesome!"

He shoved me away from him. I staggered backwards and almost fell. Before I could even begin to run, his hands vanished in a blur of motions and he shouted a strange phrase. The wild grin flashed across his face as I lost control of my muscles and slumped toward the porch boards.

With my eyes focused on his face, my vanishing conscious was able to transcend panic and anger and realize why I found that smile so very terrifying.

 _This is…fun…for him…_

.oOo.

Low, male humming broke into my mind, the sound deep and surprisingly on-key. Beneath it I heard the crackle of a wood fire. Befuddled, I listened for a few seconds, wondering if I had left my television on. Then the sound of night insects reached me, much louder than I usually heard through the walls of my house.

 _I'm…outside?_

That made it all come back. Ai-kun, the strange adult shinobi, and all the terrible meaning behind his twisted smile. I choked down a small cry and tensed, listening intently to the humming. _Remain calm and keep feigning sleep! As long as he's humming, you know where he is!_

Very carefully, listening to the man's song and moving as little as possible, I tried my limbs. I was on my side in the grass. My legs were bound at the ankles, and my arms at the wrist, which were also secured behind my back. I fought back a frown and cursed inwardly. _This isn't good._

In the quiet of my new position, no longer being manhandled by the stranger, I found it much easier to think. Half a dozen things occurred to me that I could have done or said to prevent this predicament, of course much too late to help me now.

So I tried to focus on the present. I had survived Ai-kun on the riverbank and in my living room. Even with my terror in the face of his silent menace, I had managed to keep my head through it all and make things almost pleasant between the two of us…until my refusal of the kiss in the bathroom. That memory made me want to curl up in shame. But even then, he hadn't killed me or struck out. If I could handle Ai-kun, surely I could survive this new threat. Right? And this man was an adult. Adults could be reasoned with!

But...did his physical age even matter? He was an adult, yet he definitely didn't act like one. That nasty grin I had registered just before falling unconscious struck me as if he was a malicious boy, the type who enjoyed cruel pranks on his friends and tormenting small animals. His flamboyant and arrogant nature were the exact opposite of Ai-kun, who while being half the man's age, possessed an adult's sure self-possession.

And his sheer size! This man was so… _big_. Cooped up in my house, racing deadlines, barely talking to anyone in the flesh besides Uwasa-obaasan, I'd forgotten just how physically intimidating men could be. And the feel of him when he had pressed me against him! _Ugh!_ I fought down a repulsed shiver. Ai-kun's touch had been shamefully thrilling, and his sand completely terrifying, but neither had made me feel _dirty._

Why? On the riverbank I had felt the power and deadly intent of Ai-kun, and it had only drawn me to him. This man seemed just as deadly and terrifying, yet I recoiled at everything about him. It didn't make sense.

I mentally shook myself. My fickle attractions didn't matter. Something else was much more important. _What could this shinobi possibly want with_ _ **me?**_ _It has to be information, but I told him--_

The sudden silence of the night interrupted my train of thought. The humming had stopped! I cracked open one eye, unsure if I wanted him to still be nearby or if I'd rather him gone. My sight adjusted to the light of the fire, but the angle of my face was too low for me to see anything rather than grass.

Then I heard an amused chuckle. "You're so cute, Minami-hime. The helpless damsel trying to trick the dashing and sinister villain. How very precious, as your rickety old neighbor would say!"

I flinched. With chagrin, I openly lifted my head and watched him from where I still lie on the ground.

He sat facing me from across the fire. Ai-kun's gourd was on his left, and neat stacks of small narrow papers were on his right. He was holding a brush. An ink stone sat on a flat rock in the grass in front of him. He wrote on another paper, staring intently down as he worked, and then when he was finished he carefully added it to a stack.

I caught a glimpse of the first kanji he was writing on the papers. _Wind...?_

"You might as well sit up and talk to me, Minami-hime. It's the proper thing to do. Princesses are supposed to have elegant manners and be courteous. That's very important, as my soon-to-be-former master would say.

"In that vein, I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Jirettai. So terribly pleased to make your acquaintance." He gave me a mocking bow from where he sat, then grinned and resumed his writing.

I considered his words about manners and grudgingly admitted he had a point. Maybe politeness would count for something with him. He--Jirettai--did seem more reasonable now than he had before, when he was all loudness and erratic movements. _Maybe he isn't as insane as I thought._

It took me a couple of tries before I could sit up on my bent legs. I ended up having to lurch upright with an ungraceful grunt to make it to my knees, levering myself as best I could with my bound arms. I tucked my feet underneath me and tried not to be too obvious about observing him while I considered my changed situation.

 _Ai-kun had escaped Jirettai, however narrowly. I had escaped Ai-kun, again however narrowly. Doesn't that mean I have a chance?_

I carefully studied Jirettai while he worked. "Minami… _hime?"_ I echoed guardedly.

He paused to look up and shine that huge grin at me. "I promoted you! After all, a princess is much more fitting in our little story than a common girl! Hmmmm?" At that, he suddenly scowled and returned to his strips of paper with a muttered oath. "That artsy-ass moron is rubbing off on me, too." He snapped his head back up and snarled at me, "Your little pet is late! Obviously, since you're both still alive!"

I blinked in surprise at his sharp anger. "My pet? What pet?"

Jirettai snorted.

"You mean… _Ai-kun?"_

He paused his writing and met my eyes. The wild grin returned. "Oh man! You even gave him his own cute little _name!"_ He laughed that gratingly loud guffaw again, all traces of his irritation gone. "You are a real piece of work, Minami-hime!" he crowed.

I gritted my teeth against the noise and wished for the return of the intent--and much more quiet--version of the man.

With flourish, he embellished the last kanji on one of his papers, cleaned his brush with vigor and set it back in its case, and stood. "Let me tell you something about your precious little 'Ai-kun'." He leaned forward, eyes intent. "He's a monster. A vessel of evil. A murdering psychopathic little brat whose only purpose is to kill on command. Normally, I have no problem with murdering psychopathic little brats, seeing as I used to be one. Though I'm no longer little, since I've grown some!" He leered at me again, then gathered up a stack of his papers and began to pace around our small clearing, placing them on the ground in evenly spaced locations with long metal pins to secure them. He talked the entire time, waving his arms to accent his words once more, even as he carefully stepped off each paper's destination.

"But little Ai-kun can serve a higher purpose today! You see, I want a promotion, too. The problem is that my boss and I, we don't see eye to eye. He doesn't want to give me that promotion. Like I said earlier, he's really big on politeness and proper manners and all that crap. Me, I take the shortest path to getting stuff done. I value _results._ Apparently that means I don't have the right attitude and 'would not do well with a promotion.'"

Here Jirettai scowled, whirled in place, and slung a pin and paper at a tree. The pin impaled the trunk with a solid _thunk_ , and the paper crackled faintly as it settled against bark _._

He smirked, resumed his pacing, and continued, "So the master and his artsy-ass partner are coming up with some big _intricate_ plan that'll take years--years!--to set up before they can use the damn thing. All that plotting just to capture a stupid little brat!" His scowl vanished as he flashed that grin at me again. "Meaning your Ai-kun, of course." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm. I guess that means if you want him, you'll have to wait for your turn. Though he probably won't be much use to you once they're done with him!" He found that uproariously funny. After several ear-throbbing laughs, he went on.

"So hey, I figured I'd take over this job, do it faster and better, and then give the boss and his partner the finger as I stroll on up the promotional ladder. The master's master likely appreciates results, after all." He pivoted and struck a pose. "I even already snagged the uniform." He brandished the coat, unzipping it half-way and whirling around to give me the full effect. "I think it suits me, don't you?"

I could only stare, caught up in the realization that someone wanted Ai-kun badly enough to plot over _years_. But my silence and shock apparently were a satisfactory answer. Jirettai grinned and gave his head a rakish toss that made his brown hair sway. With a self-satisfied chuckle, he set the remaining few papers in their locations, saving only one. He walked directly to me, crouched down, and held the final paper up for me to see.

"You wanted to read this, yes?"

I swallowed and scanned the swirly kanji. "Kaze Kinryou? 'Wind weight'?" Cautiously, I studied him. "That's nonsense."

The grin returned. "No, not nonsense, my precious Hime. Jutsuu."

"What...?"

"You'll find out. This one, by the way, is yours." Jirettai reached out and gripped the front of my shirt before I could lean away. He secured the paper to the cloth with another one of the long pins, neatly spearing the kitten painted on the shirt through both eyes. He didn't bother to hide his enjoyment when his fingers pressed into my breasts.

I shrank back from the unwanted contact. He smirked again, and then crouched in front of me, chin propped cutely in his hands with his elbows braced on his knees.

"So tell me, Minami-hime. You figured out why I kidnapped you yet?"

I shifted on the ground, wanting to scoot away from him. "No. I told you everything I know on my back porch. I don't know where he went. I don't know what he was doing to end up on my riverbank in the first place. I only met Ai-kun an hour before he vanished!"

His cute little smile stretched grotesquely back into that delighted leer. "Only an hour? That's even better!"

My bafflement grew.

"Oh come now, Minami-hime! Take a closer look at what I've done here, hmm? I mean, Princesses are supposed to be _used_ to this type of thing."

Reluctant to take my eyes off him, I glanced around me, confirming that the papers were spaced through the entire clearing. They formed a large pattern of concentric rings and sectioning rods...with me and my own paper in the center.

I turned to stare at Jirettai in horror.

His grin widened. "Aha! You did figure it out!" He grasped my face in one massive hand and held me still. "It's obvious if you just think about it. You managed to tame the psychopathic killer, the monster--and in less than an hour, at that! The brat must really have a thing for you!"

He lifted my chin up with one finger and leered into my eyes. "That's right, Minami-hime!"

Every coherent thought I had vanished, pinched out of existence by the horrible truth. This man believed Ai-kun felt something for me. He believed we had a sort of connection, that Ai-kun would risk life and limb to rescue me. He had no way of knowing what had transpired in that scant hour Ai-kun and I had been together. How I'd forced my help on Ai-kun. How I'd barely avoided being killed twice--that I _knew_ of. How I'd led Ai-kun on sexually, and then turned away his tenuous response. In that climactic moment I had decisively severed any chance of fondness for me that might have been growing in the boy's fragile heart.

Jirettai honestly expected that 'murdering psychopathic little brat' to rescue me.

I slumped, forgetting the man in front of me, the throbbing of my bound hands and feet, the chill of the cold grass beneath my legs. All I could see in my mind was Ai-kun's hurt anger when I had turned him away.

And now, I was supposed to be _bait._

  
_(completed 2-07-09, last tweaked 2-07-09)_   



	7. part seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter was beta read by both Twilla and Star-chan. They have my endless thanks for helping DaaGB reach its full potential. Thank you so much!
> 
>  **Warning: this chapter turns rather violent.**

  
_**Distracting and a Great Bother**  
(part seven)_   


The urge to laugh, to roll over on my back and howl to the stars at the utter absurdity, overwhelmed me. If I hadn't taken a break from work this evening and run to the river, I never would have found Ai-kun. If I'd never found him, I wouldn't have had my den and office wrecked, wouldn't have been almost killed by him twice, and certainly would not be caught in the middle of a fight between two lethal and quite insane shinobi.

The choking laughter in my chest emerged as sobs. My eyes filled with tears.

Jirettai patted me and squeezed my shoulder in consolation. "Come now, Hime. Don't worry! I'm sure your devoted Ai-kun will show up and save you." His hand traveled to the nape of my neck and rested there, his thumb stroking my skin twice. The caress snapped me back to myself, and I violently sat up straight to dislodge him.

" _Do not touch me!"_ I snarled.

He pouted again and removed his hand, sighing, "Awww! I suppose it _is_ proper for a princess to save herself for her hero." He stood philosophically and walked a short distance away. "I do have one last step to prepare for him. After all, I mustn't let myself be distracted!" He turned his back to me, did something with his hands, and shouted another one of his strange nonsense phrases.

With a brief flicker, the paper slips he had secured around me and throughout the clearing vanished.

I couldn't stop myself from gasping as I glanced down at my chest where the paper had been pinned and saw that it had vanished with the rest of them, leaving behind only twin holes through the painted kitten's eyes.

I wiped the tears off my face on my shoulder and heard the distinct sound of paper crackling. I blinked and shifted my shoulders again, and heard it again. _The tag is still there, just rendered invisible._

I glanced back up at Jirettai, who was smugly surveying his work. He theatrically dusted off his hands, then flashed a bright smile at me. "Now I shall douse the fire, and we will be in business!"

He strode to the small campfire and kicked up dirt and small rocks from the ground to smother the flames. He cheerfully resumed his humming while he stomped the embers, sending up puffs of dirt and ash into the night air.

My eyes adjusted to the meager light of moon and stars. The dust from Jirettai's tramping somehow sparkled even in that faint light. I tracked the glinting path upward against the dark background of night, and I held my breath, waiting for the dust's movement to gain purpose, to suddenly dart and dance in obedience to an unseen will, but it merely wafted up until the shimmers were lost into the distance.

I swallowed once. _Face the truth, 'Minami-hime'. Ai-kun truly is not coming for you._ I flicked my eyes back to the smugly waiting Jirettai. _And when_ _ **he**_ _realizes that, he'll kill you for being useless and probably for wasting his time on top of it._ Of that I had no doubt.

 _You're on your own, Hime. So figure out how to save yourself. Somehow._

.oOo.

Jirettai was growing more and more impatient. At first he had crouched near me, eyes roving the clearing, hands trembling, face almost glowing with anticipation. As the minutes wore on, the smile faded, the hands clenched and unclenched, and he finally leaped up to stalk around me in angry silence.

As his ire increased, my nervousness grew, particularly since I had yet to think of a way to free myself. The man continuously glanced back at me, never giving me more than a few seconds of time out from under his watchful gaze. He glared at me if I did so much as shift my weight on the grass. I'd been stuck in one position for so long, I knew my arms and legs were stiff, and I had already suffered pins and needles resulting from the tiny squirms I'd dared. My body ached from earlier when Jirettai had slammed me twice into my front door, not to mention from the injuries I'd already received when Ai-kun had sent his sand whirling through my house.

All of which meant that even if I managed to untie myself, running away would be an uncoordinated farce. No, it seemed my best chance remained talking my way out of it. Except I had no idea what to say. I licked my lips and cleared my throat, desperate for inspiration.

At the noise, Jirettai whirled around and stalked over to me. I stared up with trepidation as he loomed, his baleful expression melting away to that ominous, speculative leer.

"I'm tired of waiting, Minami-hime." He bent low and caught my chin in one huge hand, stroking my skin with his thumb. "I believe what's needed here is a beautiful siren song to summon him."

"Huh?"

His grin grew impossibly wider. "A scream, Hime. Give one to me! Ai-kun needs some _incentive."_

I jerked my head out of his grasp and shrank back, heart pounding. "I—"

He shoved me with one powerful arm off my knees and onto my backside. "C'mon, Hime. Scream!"

I did. Or rather, I tried to. All that my dry throat could manage was a pitiful croak. I desperately swallowed at his unsatisfied glare and attempted it a second time. A little better, but not by much.

"Fine then, some incentive for _you—_ " he reached for me again.

Fear cut through me. _No!_ I kicked him in the shins with my tied legs and frantically started to scramble away.

He yelped in surprise, then his expression turned mean. "Bad Hime!" he shouted. With two steps, he caught up to me. He roughly threw me onto my stomach, planted one foot in the small of my back, and gripped the rope that bound my arms behind me.

I instantly knew what he planned for my 'incentive'. "Wait!" I shrieked.

"You had your chance, Hime," he replied, and forced my arms up. _"Scream!"_

My fright made me begin even before the pain hit. My shriek reverberated off the ground and filled the night.

Jirettai lowered my arms and demanded, "Louder! Call his name! _Call for him!"_ He pulled my arms even higher, forcing my back to arch and lifting my torso off the ground.

Sobbing, I gasped for air and obeyed. _**"Ai-kuuun!"**_

Again and again, I screamed for Ai-kun as the man pulled my arms high, held them, then lowered them for a brief rest before starting once more. His delirious laughter mixed with my cries in a macabre counterpoint. My voice began to break, until finally I could only quietly sob. My upper body hung limp in Jirettai's grip, numb, and I desperately waited for him to lower me down for another short rest. Tears had dripped onto the grass and earth beneath me. I watched them land, glinting in the scant light that was not cast into shadow by my body above, and my eyes focused on an unexpected movement in the soil.

I blinked away more tears and saw a dark line of sand slowly rising from between the blades of grass, where the angle of my dangling body would block it from Jirettai's view. The tip narrowed and sides flattened as it grew, sharpening into four edges, until the spear of sand extended a hand span from the ground.

My breath hitched. _Ai-kun._

Three things happened almost simultaneously: Jirettai released his hold on me with a delighted whoop, my body hit the ground, and the spear shot up—barely missing my neck—to pierce the air where my captor had just been.

Dimly, I heard Jirettai laugh with complete joy as he shot away, but my attention remained focused on the spear.

 _I…I don't believe it. Ai-kun came. Where is he...?_

I had to see him, and that meant I needed to sit up. I bit my lip against the continuous burn of my back and shoulders and managed to roll onto my side just in time to see the widely grinning Jirettai flick his hands in another strange pattern and call out, _"Kaze Kinryou no Jutsu!"_

A terrible weight impacted my chest, knocking the air out of my lungs like a horse's kick to my breastbone. I struggled to breathe and defensively curled into a fetal position in an attempt to lessen the pressure, but it didn't work. The pressure's power began to fluctuate in random lengths from heavy, to light, and then heavy again. I took advantage of a lighter moment and forced my lungs to expand and gained a tiny breath, then exhaled on the pressure increase and inhaled again after. I _could_ breathe. Barely, and it was awkward, but enough to keep me from passing out.

Then I felt it. Against my chin, the paper Jirettai had pinned to my chest crinkled. I stared down, amazed it was visible again, and I could read the kanji written upon it. 'Kaze Kinryou'.The paper had been creased and ripped by my struggles, and now a small tear reached from one of the pin's piercing holes and across the top of the kanji for 'kaze'.

Jirettai flashed by, catching my attention. He moved impossibly fast, chased by streams of glittering sand. He danced through the air, his feet not bothering to touch the ground, jumping and spinning, dodging Ai-kun's attacks and laughing in sheer joy all the while. It only took a few moments for me to realize the weight on my chest increased when he leaped, eased while he was in mid-air, and impacted again with a vengeance when he landed.

I gasped for more air in those fleeting moments of relief, and even in my dazed state of mind, I figured it out. I could see the paper pinned to my chest, though the others I had watched Jirettai position about the clearing remained invisible.

 _If that small rip in the kanji disrupted part of the spell, may a big rip will disrupt the whole thing._

I curled into myself again, summoned some saliva, stuck my tongue out, and managed to touch the paper. Carefully, I pulled my tongue back until I could clamp my mouth firmly upon the paper. I twisted my head—fighting to not to gasp from the heavy effect of another one of Jirettai's acrobatic feats—and ripped the paper off its pin.

The kanji phrase rent in two. The pressure on my chest vanished. I spat out the paper and sucked in great and delicious lungfulls of the night air. Breathing unimpeded once more felt like a miracle.

The battle raged on around me as I recovered, Jirettai continuing his unnaturally light dance, laughing and cat-calling and hooting the entire time.

I hungrily searched for Ai-kun, something within me desperate to actually _see_ him fighting to save me. Finally, between flashes of Jirettai's gaudy red and black coat and the great swaths of moving sand that chased the man, I saw Ai-kun.

He stood a few steps inside the clearing, the fringe of trees close behind. My heart ached in disbelief. _He's here! Ai-kun actually came for me!_

Sniffling, I wiped the tears from my face with my shoulders and drank in his presence. He was once again dressed in his own shinobi clothes. His beautiful face shone under the pale light, red hair deepened to stark black by the night. His expression frozen in concentration, his eyes the only part of him that moved. They flicked from side to side, up and down, as he remained completely focused on his enemy. The sight of those black-rimmed eyes, flat and emotionless, as devoid of humanity as they had been when I had first met his gaze on the sandbar, sent chills down my spine.

Jirettai's description of Ai-kun suddenly echoed in my mind, unwelcome. _"He's a monster. A vessel of evil. A murdering psychopathic little brat whose only purpose is to kill on command."_

Those words gave voice to the very thing I had realized when I knelt there in the sand those scant hours ago: my unspoken first impression of Ai-kun.

My mind leaped to his soft apology, after he had used his sand to destroy my den in that unexpected bout of rage.

 _No. Ai-kun might have been like that once, but he isn't any more. A vessel of evil would never apologize and actually mean it._ And he _had_ meant it. I understood that somewhere inside me, without question. Yes, Ai-kun could be incredibly intimidating, but he was not a mindless monster. Would a monster have come for me, knowing it was a trap? A monster would have saved himself and escaped while he had the chance.

I cried out in shock when Jirettai suddenly impacted his foot on my hip and used me as a springboard to shoot himself upward yet again. I caught sight of his wild smile and laugh as he spun, Ai-kun's sand half a second too slow to cut him off.

It was obvious Ai-kun's hands were occupied dealing with the _actual_ murdering psychopath. My continuing presence in the middle of their battlefield struck me as rather stupid, front row seat for studying my hero or not.

Groaning, I sat up and saw the sharp spear of sand that had announced Ai-kun's presence in the clearing. The moonlight glinted along its surface, limning the four edges that met into what had to be a lethally sharp point high above. My breath caught in my throat.

 _The sand spear is really a four-sided **blade,** and I am tied with **rope!**_

A furtive glance revealed Jirettai's back was momentarily turned to me. I had to chance he would remain focused on Ai-kun.

I rolled onto my knees, turned my back to the spear, and carefully set the rope that bound my wrists together against one of the blade's edges. Hissing against the pain in my shoulders, I awkwardly moved my arms up and down once. And with only that small amount of effort, the rope split. I shook my hands until the bonds loosened, then carefully pulled my arms apart. My muscles ached now they were again free to move.

Using one quivering hand, I picked up the rope and found the cut ends. Ai-kun's sand weapon been so sharp, it had cleanly sliced through without a snag or a sound.

I shivered.

Jirettai suddenly gusted by me in a wave of wind, sending my hair flying and making me dive back to the ground. I heard the sand as it followed him, rustling with the sound of a million tiny knives. That was all the reminder I needed. _I have to get out of here!_

I rolled onto my stomach and carefully freed my legs as I had freed my hands.

The pin that had held the paper to my shirt pricked me. I pulled it from my top and scowled down at it before tossing it away.

Jirettai and more sand swooped closely past overhead. I ducked again and squirmed forward. Keeping low to avoid the aerial fighting, I moved a few meters from the center of the clearing before I felt it under my hand—another one of Jirettai's papers, pinned to the ground in the now-flattened grass. I hesitated for a moment. Possibly ruining Jirettai's 'jutsu' would delay my escape, but what kind of chance did I have of crawling out of the flattened clearing with him zooming about it?

If I could slow down his attacks, then Ai-kun might stand a chance. Ai-kun, who had come for me after all.

That decided it. I closed my fingers around the invisible paper and ripped it from its pin, and my hand slammed into the ground as the jutsu transferred its weight from pin to me. The paper flickered back into sight. I gripped it with my free hand and ripped it in half, right through the kanji. My arm sprang up, and the grass surrounding me and the pin began to slowly stand upright. It really was that easy.

Quickly, heart in my throat, I sought Jirettai with my eyes and found him still evading attacks with his skating on the air. He had taken the offence now, continuously charging Ai-kun and dodging waves of sand, landing a kick or strike on the boy, then shooting away.

The man could still move so quickly. Two papers clearly weren't enough. I frantically patted the grass as I squirmed forward underneath the action and located the closest paper. This time I viciously ripped it off the pin and destroyed the kanji in one move, then wormed my way to the next location.

I had destroyed the eleventh paper when I heard Jirettai bellow, "Bad Hime! No trying to escape!"

I whirled on the ground and saw Jirettai glaring at me from the edge of the clearing, directly opposite Ai-kun. His momentary irritation changed to absolute fury, and I knew he realized I'd been destroying his jutsu papers.

With a roar, the man pushed off the ground and shot toward me. I would be dead the moment he struck. My only chance remained with—

" _Ai-kun!"_ I yelled and turned from Jirettai's livid charge to face the boy, who finally shifted his eyes from his enemy to look at me.

" _Invisible jutsu papers, all around!"_ I desperately shoved my hands forward, brandishing the pieces of the last paper that I still held, knowing Jirettai would be upon me in a heartbeat. _"It's how he's so fast! Destroy them!"_

Ai-kun blinked, and then he raised his arms.

I threw myself flat on the ground and covered my head.

The night roared around me, a maelstrom of sand and debris that scoured the grass and fringing trees, ripping at my clothes and hair. I felt it spin once, twice...

With an infuriated curse heralding his arrival, Jirettai fell to the ground almost on top of me. Before I could even lift my head from my arms, he grabbed the back of my shirt in one massive hand and hefted me upright, anger fueling his strength. He clamped my body back against his and I felt something cold and sharp across my throat.

I froze.

Jirettai's hot breath ruffled my hair as he wheezed. He laughed again, but this time it was low and mean. "I have your dear princess, _Ai-kun,_ " he snarled. "Release the sand!"

Ai-kun let his arms fall. In a muffled shuffle, the sand fell to the earth to carpet the ground as a pale, shimmering blanket. Shredded bits of wood and leaf fell with it, blotting dark stars upon the even expanse of moonlit white. And finally, telltale fibers of paper slowly drifted down to dust over all.

I focused on Ai-kun. He had not taken one step from his place just outside the trees. Even at this distance, I could see he was completely exhausted. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead. His hands trembled, and I suspected he was fighting to remain upright. That final burst of his power must have been sheer torture for him to dredge up and maintain.

"Ai-kun..." I whispered.

Behind me, Jirettai made a disgusted noise. "I'm disappointed in you, Ai-kun. The monster I tracked for weeks, whose power and cruelty even _I_ admired, now brought to heel by an enemy threatening a _hostage?_ Revolting! And stupid!" He made a scathing noise. "Don't you know ties to people make you weak? Can be exploited, _just like this?"_

Jirettai shifted his grip on the weapon he held, now pressing its point into my neck. One flick of his wrist and my throat would be sliced open. Terrified, I craned my head as far away as I could, desperately watching Ai-kun.

His flat eyes burned holes into me.

Jirettai lifted a lip in disdain. "It's almost a shame I'm going to kill you tonight, you little fool. It means you'll never have a chance to think on the lesson that lovers and friends are only weapons to be turned against you. They are nothing but a liability, Ai-kun!"

When Ai-kun closed his eyes, I whimpered.

The boy took a deep breath, then met my gaze once more. He spoke, "He is right, Minami-san." His emotionless voice floated upon the night air as it shaped the damning words. "You are a liability."

The torment his statement caused inside me eclipsed everything. I barely noticed when Jirettai's triumphant laugh changed to a bloody gurgle as three of Ai-kun's sand blades shot up from directly beneath and speared the man cleanly through. For two strangled seconds the man held himself frozen before a death rattle escaped his lips, and his body sagged upon the blades.

The success of Ai-kun's silent attack registered in my terrified mind when Jirettai's weapon fell from his lifeless hand to softly _chink_ upon the sand-cushioned ground at my feet.

Ai-kun took a step toward me, then a second, and a third. Our eyes remained locked as he slowly approached.

"Everything he said was true."

I began to tremble.

"Ties to people can make you weak."

All I could manage were two shaky steps away from Jirettai's body before I fell, landing heavily on my side in the sand. I tried to stand, but ended on my knees again. Terror had rendered my already weakened body useless.

Ai-kun was half-way to me now; his slow steps as carefully controlled as his dead voice. He raised one arm, and I flinched back, expecting the endless supply of sand around me to obey him…but he only pointed at the corpse held aloft over a spreading pool of blood.

"They can be exploited."

My world cracked.

"You—you didn't come to rescue me," I choked out. "You came because you knew he was here."

Ai-kun nodded once, an emotionless gesture. "So you do understand. It was a trap…"

"For _him."_ I concluded in a whisper, staring up at Ai-kun.

He had reached me. We watched each other for one very long, very intense moment. Me, trembling on the ground, and Ai-kun simply standing over me, with the moon and stars bathing us both in their cold light.

"I used you to kill him," he confirmed. "I exploited the bond you forged between the two of us." He paused for a moment, and something flicked across his face when he asked, "How do you feel about that? Me using you to kill him?"

"I…" My voice faltered, and I inwardly scrambled for the right answer. When I realized I had no idea what he wanted to hear, I was left with only the truth. "I don't know."

"Why?"

"Um…you're a shinobi. Killing people is what you do. And…" I trailed off and used one hand to wipe gritty tears from my cheeks. "…you were so beaten when I found you. You probably couldn't have survived a second fight against him alone."

Ai-kun's eyes narrowed.

I swallowed and hastily tried to explain, the words tumbling over each other as fast as my frantic mouth could form them. "I don't like being used, especially not for killing, and he tortured me, and would have killed me. But using me let you kill him, and not him kill us, and I don't want either of us to die, though I don't want _anyone_ to die, even him, but now he's dead and he can't kill either of us because you used me for it, even though I don't like it…so…I don't know how to feel," I finished weakly.

His mouth hardened, eyes still slits; his entire body tensed as if to strike.

Held transfixed with the terrible fascination of prey facing its natural predator, I sucked in a shaky breath to ask the single question I had to know. My voice came out in a tiny whisper. "Are you going to kill me?"

He moved, tilting his head as he considered for five achingly long beats of my pounding heart.

When he answered, his own voice was a whisper. "I don't know, either."

Ai-kun crouched down in front of me with one hand resting on his thigh, the other clenching into a fist in the sand that blanketed the ground. He studied me with deliberation, his eyes roaming over me, taking in my wet cheeks, my short panicked breathing, my bruises, and my obvious terror. He finally leaned back on his heels and averted his gaze.

In seeming fascination, he raised the hand that had been clenched in the sand and opened it, watching the tiny grains fall through his fingers in a stream back to the ground. He said, voice still quiet, "I've always known bonds to people were liabilities, and so I avoided making them, but recently..." He turned his hand over, rubbing the grains that stuck to his skin. "…I think they might be worth the risk. I'm not sure. I haven't decided yet."

I swallowed and tried to speak, but Ai-kun cut me off with a hand that almost touched my lips. I could feel his body heat on my mouth, and it shocked me silent.

"Minami-san…this could happen again." Ai-kun looked pointedly over at the corpse. "I have many enemies. They are willing to torture their victims, and that can change death into an act of mercy."

He leaned forward, so close that I could count his eyelashes. Only his fingers hovering over my mouth kept his lips from brushing mine. The tension in his body underscored what I heard in his voice, even as his words and proximity held me riveted.

"I can kill you now, so fast you will feel no pain, no more fear. You wouldn't have to worry about something like this ever happening again. Do you want that?" His fingertips brushed gently against my mouth at last, as if in a promise, then fell away.

I could only tremble for several seconds, overwhelmed by the power held by the boy in front of me. I swallowed the instinctive negation and forced myself to consider his offer.

When he shifted his weight uncertainly and studied his hand again while he waited for my response, I realized the true question he had asked. I straightened, took a deep breath, and waited for his eyes to return to me so I could make my answer clear.

"I _want_ to keep my bond with you, Ai-kun."

He leaped to his feet and jerked a step back, staring at me in disbelief.

I licked my lips and kept my voice even, willing him to understand. "You can be frightening, you destroyed a room in my house, I was tortured and almost killed by a psychopath actually after you, and you could kill me in the next moment, but…" my voice trailed off, and I concluded softly, "I do _not_ regret meeting you." I rose to my knees and recklessly reached out to cup his face in my hands. "Ai-kun."

He started to shake beneath my touch. I smiled at him and pulled my hands away. To my amazement, he stepped into a full embrace. He dropped to his knees, wrapped his arms around me, and he pressed his face into my chest. I returned the hug, feeling the desperation in his small body, and did my best not to start crying again.

I whispered, voice thick with unshed tears, "I would like to say, though, that I'd rather not die just yet. I do have work deadlines."

He broke out a laugh. It was short, and almost a sob, but it was indeed a laugh. I committed the sound to memory, somehow knowing his sincere laugh was even rarer and more precious than his gentle smile.

I let him hold the hug as long as he wanted. When he did relax his grip, he turned his head, resting his cheek on my breast. I knew he wasn't being entirely innocent now, but to be honest, I didn't exactly mind.

"Don't move, Minami-san," he warned, and tightened his arms around me again.

I watched the sand begin moving around us. It rose from the ground in elegant waves like a shimmering mist. Ai-kun's gourd flowed to us, carried on a smaller wave, the cork already removed. Sand poured in. From the corner of my eye, I saw the sand enclose Jirettai's body in a large sphere, then hover over the ground as if waiting for Ai-kun's orders.

 _He's taking the body with him._ Pain stabbed my heart. _He has to leave immediately._

My face creased with sadness, and I hugged Ai-kun closer and concentrated on all my senses. The sight of the black sky above, the combination of the sibilant hiss of sand as it flowed into the gourd and the night insects braving our continuing stillness to sing again, the scent of bruised grass and leaves upon the air, and Ai-kun warm and close within my arms.

He slowly pulled away, face averted. He bent to retrieve his cork from where it had been deposited by the sand at his feet and stoppered the gourd. He shrugged into its carrying straps and adjusted them over his shoulders. All the while, Ai-kun did not even glance at me once.

That he wouldn't look at me in the last few moments we had together upset me greatly. The silence around us seemed to echo inside my head. Needing to meet his eyes, I spoke.

"Ai-kun, will I see you again?"

He paused for a second, then moved even further away and gestured towards the side of the clearing where he had appeared. "The trail left from my approach is obvious, since I ripped extra sand from the ground the entire way. Your house is not that far and is the trail's beginning."

I didn't remove my eyes from him. "Ai-kun?"

"I must go. This enemy's corpse has valuable informa—"

" _Ai-kun!"_ I insisted, cutting him off. Anger and desperation made my voice as heated as my skin felt. "Answer me, _please!"_

Slowly, he turned toward me. His eyes seemed bright in the starlight, his face as flushed as my own.

"I do not know, Minami-san. I have…much to think about." He raised a hand, and for one breathless moment I thought he was asking me to come to him. When the sand sphere containing Jirettai's body floated into my line of vision on its way to him instead, my heart flinched.

He waited until my eyes returned to him before he continued speaking. "If I do see you again, it might very well be to kill you myself, before my enemies can reach you. You must understand that, Minami-san."

His face held no trace of a smile; no teasing lilt was apparent in his voice. His words were true, and he spoke them as undeniable fact.

I sank down in the sand that still blanketed the clearing, and this time I didn't try to hide the ache caused by his words.

Regret flashed across him, and his voice softened. "Such is the price of a bond with me."

It was my turn for a short, sobbing laugh. I wiped the tears from my cheeks with one hand and nodded. I straightened and looked at him with my head held high. "I do understand, Ai-kun."

For one last breathless moment, one as powerful as that first stare-down on my riverbank hours before, we held each other's gazes. Then Ai-kun wet his lips and said in his gentle voice, "Goodbye, Minami." Two bounds later, he had vanished within the trees, the sand sphere floating mutely in his wake.

.oOo.

I did not move for a very long time.

Eventually I lurched to my feet, and after quite a bit of stiff walking, I staggered up the steps to my back porch. I locked the door behind me. It was a symbolic gesture, for all the good it would do against any more shinobi.

The shirt and shorts Ai-kun had briefly borrowed lay in a heap on the floor of my laundry room. I picked them up and tucked them under my arm instead of tossing them in the clothes hamper where they belonged. I smiled when I realized the lunch I had made for Ai-kun to eat on his journey had vanished from the kitchen counter. He must have taken it. At least I could help him that much.

I tucked the sketchpad holding my drawings of Ai-kun under my other arm. The cold remains of our dinner I left on the kitchen table. They were already spoiled, and I didn't have the energy to deal with them tonight.

I felt the same way about my destroyed den. Ai-kun had apparently removed every grain of sand when he had left my house to kill Jirettai, and I couldn't decide if I was glad about that or not. I shuffled through the various papers containing my contracted work, for once not caring about impending deadlines, until I found the shredded Konoha Kyuubi painting. As I studied it, the practical part of me acknowledged it was beyond saving, and I'd never even found out why the sight of it had angered Ai-kun so much. I likely never would, either. _And it's probably better that way, too._

Sniffling, I added the decimated painting to the stash in my arms and tottered into my bedroom. I couldn't bear taking a bath. I was too tired, and I didn't want to be forced to remember everything that had happened inside my bathroom tonight, but the true reason was that I was not ready to wash Ai-kun away.

I sat heavily on the bed. I pulled the sketchpad into my lap and flipped slowly through the pages, stopping when I reached the end of my sketches. All that was left of my Ai-kun drawings were two ragged strips of paper in the spine.

He'd ripped them out.

Why? Was it from anger that I had drawn him without his consent? Or embarrassment? Or had he simply removed the hard evidence that we knew each other, not knowing that I would chose to keep our bond?

I closed the book and began to laugh. It didn't matter about the stolen drawings. I knew Ai-kun so well now that I could draw him without hesitation for the rest of my life. Every minute of my time in his presence was permanently seared upon my soul. I couldn't forget him if I tried! I didn't care if he had destroyed the drawings. I'd just make more, and better ones, too! His enemies could blast in my front door whenever they liked. I didn't care about them!

The bond I shared with Ai-kun was _mine._ I was not going to hide it. I was not going to be scared of it.

 _I won't let anyone destroy it. Not even **you,** Ai-kun._

I threw the sketchpad to the floor and curled up on my bed next to the small bundle of borrowed clothes. They still smelled like him. The green tea of my body wash and shampoo, and the faintest trace of the odd spice I knew was his own scent.

For once, my final thoughts before sinking into sleep were not of my latest project for work, or an impending deadline, or even the oncoming pressure of a new job. Instead, I fell asleep thinking of sand in the moonlight, hair the color of dried blood, and of darkly rimmed eyes that were mere shadows compared to the person behind them.

It would make one powerful painting, and would be undeniable evidence of our mutual bond.

 _So come and get me, if you dare._

.oOo.

A/N: I finally finished it, my very first fanfic. It took me three and a half years to completely tell the story of overworked Minami and her tormented Ai-kun, but I am satisfied with the results. However my feelings about the story's quality might change in the future, I will _always_ remember creating it with joy. This fanfic is what started me writing again. It reminded me of how much I love to tell emotional stories about interesting people. And most of all, it introduced me to fandom and to one of my closest friends.

I must give thanks to my inspiring fic sempai Star-chan, to the generous and diligent Twilaa, to Kishimoto-sensei for creating Naruto and my beloved Ai-kun, and to you, my readers. Every review, alert, and favorite has overwhelmed me with gratitude and justified the effort I've invested in writing this fic. Thanks for reading, everyone.

  
_(completed 7-30-10, last tweaked 7-30-10)_   



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